I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
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There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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