I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize