I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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