It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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