My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize