What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I will be naked everywhere
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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So much rum. So many feels.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
And then he peed in my hair
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