That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize