I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize