____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
NoShamevember. You game?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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