look no pants
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize