i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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