Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
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The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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