I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize