I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize