batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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