Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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