; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize