I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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