is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize