I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize