listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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