Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize