We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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