is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize