i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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