He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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