So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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