once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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