He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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