Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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