And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
