Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize