I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize