I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize