Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize