I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize