Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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