I'm going to jail i love you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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