This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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