The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize