it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Drunk is not a location!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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