Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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