she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize