Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Found the puke drawer
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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