i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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