dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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