Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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