I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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