I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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