But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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