It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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