Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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