Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize